HOW TO BUILD A MARRIAGE : ACTION PLAN

 HOW TO BUILD A MARRIAGE ALONE: ACTION PLAN

By Victor Salamba

It is easy to build or repair a marriage when your partner cooperates, but more often than not, people have the burden of building their marriages without the Spouse cooperating.

Last week I highlighted the key questions you should answer if you would like to embark on building your marriage alone, today I highlight the action plan. Remember, there is no high success rate with this, but it is worth the try:

1. Try Something New: This will break boredom. Most marriages die because of a boring routine. To fight for your marriage alone, always be willing to be courageous to try something new. Sleep out together, go for a holiday, go dancing, read a book, introduce movie night, just do something new. Break the routine.

2. Choose To Be Happy: Being grumpy does not help your cause as you try to fight for your marriage. Joy is contagious. Don’t be drawn into a sad gloomy cycle. Choose to be happy. People tend to want to spend time with people who are jolly, and always tend to avoid grumpy people. Choose to be happy.

3. Do Not Be Needy & Too Clingy: Simply said, do not suffocate your Partner with your presence. Focus on short quality moments and short meaningful words. Do not demand to spend time with them, but make every moment they spend with you memorable that day, as you long for the next time.

4. Master The Art of Words: Nothing Pieces the heart better than well-spoken, well-timed and well-toned words. Master the words that would get your Partner’s attention. This has to be done to precision, because if done the wrong way, they will not have an impact, and your Partner will know you don’t mean it. Mastering words is an act that involves saying what is relevant to the situation that your Partner will connect with you.

5. Don’t Blame Your Partner for the Misery or Bad Marriage: Blaming will push them away. Blaming yourself will make them manipulate you. Get the balance right. Address the real issue and do not allocate blame.

6. Don’t Get People To Side With You: This means your children, parents, friends, counsellors and clergy. Do not build a team to prove how bad your Spouse is. This will create irreparable wounds.

7. Learn To Let Some Things Go: To fight for a marriage alone, you must know how to let some things go and not nit-pick everything. Not all things need a family meeting. Learn to be agreeable.

It is not easy to repair or build a marriage alone, but like all journeys, it is worth the try.