Replaced at Night

Replaced At Night

By Jacqueline Kamau

Since graduation, I have held on to this dead bear despite replacing the donor. It was in my first year when he gave me this dead bear. It will leave a small space in between my two pillows where it used to wait for me late in the night. The time I would come home to hold and play with it.

I would tell it stories, mostly of the men of my life. The dead bear has heard a lot; it has recorded all my experiences since my freedom to mingle was granted. It has heard of all the outings, the rape, the kisses, the caress, love making and Cumming.

The light brown dead bear has a black nose that I have kissed all my happy days. Its two black eyes seem to bubble with hidden emotions and information. Yes, it has endured all my blows during all my disappointments.

Whenever I learnt that ‘he is married’ or ‘in a serious relationship’ down the blows rained. On some occasions I throw it away when it dawns on me that ‘he just used me’ or ‘he was just after my thighs; this is why I toss it in the air and allow it to land with a thud and relish the grumbling noise of the beads that fill its stomach.

Last Saturday, I do not know how I managed to get home by 4:00am very drunk. The bar woman had insisted that I should go back home in the morning. Probably I was not the first lady to come by the bar at the time looking the way I was. I had followed Marcus advice;

“If you feel it is no longer safe to be with me, you better come back to this club.”

“Babes, you are my security”

“Off course. I will never allow anything to harm you. I will always protect you with my life.”

“I will protect our love; I will not allow anything to come between….”

“But I want you”

“You have me, all of me”

“I can have you?”

“I am not attractive enough?

Then why do you keep asking me? Go on boy.

“I’m all yours, all the time.”

That was the conversation at the bar earlier. Before we left the bar, Marcus, in concern-laden voice, called me twice by my name. He said that I should take him to his house. He had an emergency. I frowned and staggered briefly.

Marcus assured me that the house was just a few blocks away and I could come back as soon as possible. That is how Marcus and I left for his house to do something that was very urgent and important to him. He could not wait to finish his drink. Marcus asked the bar woman to keep his Jameson. This was the guarantee that we would come back soon.

**********

Four in the morning, I am in bed crying. On one hand is my dead bear and on the other hand is my Jameson. As I sip the last of it, a tear comes down through the stream that has formed around my now pink nose. As each sip went down my dry throat, two drops of tears hit the dead bear. The kind of tears that this bear has endured. They land hot, followed by blows and a toss on the ground. I pick the dead bear from the floor and pamper it. “Last night it was not a date rape, I enjoyed it.” I managed to whisper.

Marcus knew the prize he wanted for all the drinks and the food we ate the bar. He had what he needed and he knew how he needed it.  He asked me to shower with him. I was not going to accept such a thing. He removed his gray trousers and remained with a tight boxer that was showing the mighty tower between his legs. He removed his shirt too. My eyes hated the small tummy that was coming out slightly above his boxers.

“Do not worry my dear, it is just a shower. Come on, you can join me.”

“I will shower when we come back.”

“If you are afraid of taking a shower with me then do it alone.”

A towel landed on my face and he went into the bathroom. I could hear the sound of water hitting hard on his body. He expected me to have removed my clothes by the time he was out of the shower in two minutes. He went into the living room to allow me to change and go to the bathroom, which I did. I smiled at him on my way in. That was the last smile. Immediately I left the bathroom he was right outside the door, with just a pair of shorts and his chest was waiting for my hug. He held on to me, kissed me and said I was sweet. He was sweet too. He led me into the sitting room with his hands gently massaging my breasts. He sat me on one of the couch and knelt down. I leaned forward and our kissing and caress became more intense with the towel allowing him to access the places that aroused me. I was losing my breath and started taking in his, I was taking in everything as his hands moved down and he got it right on my clit.

He pulled the entire towel aside and his eyes and movements told me he wanted to kiss and find out if my pussy is as sweet as the rest of me. I sobered up and told him to stop. I hurriedly put my towel together and sat on the other couch. He sat on the couch with a sigh, his manhood was very inviting. The room was silent, he switched on the TV, reduced the volu me and played soft music. I was feeling cold and was heading to the bedroom. He followed me and handed me a lotion saying it will warm me up before we go back. After two steps towards the sitting room he turned back. A humble romantic smile was on his face, he asked me if he can apply the lotion. He came back took the lotion poured some on his hands and started applying on my legs, he was massaging them well, saying they are sexy. He kissed my thighs and massaged them. He skipped where I wanted him to massage and started kissing me he leaned on me and we both fell on the bed. His hot kisses were already making me wet. His sweet tongue murmuring, “Let us do this gal.” he said among deep, furious kisses. He got a condom from his pocket before removing his shorts showing me a powerful tower that got into me within seconds.

***********

It is still early in the morning and I need to move on, forget what happened last night. That is what I told my dead bear before closing my swollen eyes. This is not the first time,  I have landed several times, laid flat like an envelope. However, I chose a long time ago not to remain on the ground. I have always risen up above the troubles that men bring to me. But I have retained this dead bear over the years.

The ironies of this dead bear ignite passions of hate inside of me. I hate its red bow tie —the kind that I have always wished a man should wear when taking me out. Nevertheless, I have loved feeling the velvet red bow tie with my fingers. Just below it, there are two tiny green ribbons that I like too because they lead me to the emptiness of the dead bear. They remind me that it is just a doll. They have helped me recognize its barrenness and, more so, that of its donor. However, when I play with it like a beanbag, this dead bear reminds me of those days of romance.

The Dead bear’s fur that is neither red nor white may lack clarity of appearance because, may be, of the day that I received it. Its soft, dark-brown palms help me to hold it nicely when I mockingly dance to some of the songs that have never been dedicated to me. The soft palms console me, from the hard arms that have held me tightly for a short period. I dislike the arms since they do not have any strength or energy. They just move when I move them. They do not hold me even for a short time. They do not cover my slim brown hands. I hold on to them just for a dance. Yet the dead bear does not even know how to dance. It just follows me because I hold on its arms.

Unlike the dead bear, Jaymo knew how to dance. He was holding me tight by my ass with both hands as we danced to Diamonds, Kesho. He promised that he would act the song. Jaymo sang along to convince me ninataka kesho twende sote nyumbani. He said that Saturday was the best day to go for such visits since are attended by all including our pastor. Thus, we would not go on Monday but we should wait for Saturday. Ninataka kesho twende tukamwone mama he sang as he promised to take me to my parents and tell them I am his wife.

I do not cry when I remember this but I dive into my bed. It is because of Jaymo that I grab the left ear of the dead bear and hug it. I am sure it will listen, but it will not have expectations like me. I do not remember how the song began and neither do I remember how it ended. The beats of the song are in my head, the words that Jaymo sang keep flowing back into my mind and mouth as I sing along Diamonds voice too. I wish I can tell my dead bear how we began dancing. He was seated at the fourth low behind the choir across where I sat. We both kept on glancing at each other every time the pastor read a verse from Proverbs thirty-one. I have promised My dead bear knows that I will be a respectful and hard working wife whenever I meet a promising man like Jaymo.

Each line was matching my way of life. I was wearing a purple pants and bra. I had woken up early in the morning to prepare for every minute of this day. I was feeling a spirit of submission all over me. According to the pastor, if you spot such a lady ask her out for coffee. This is what Jaymo did immediately after church. I had left the church and when I stepped out of the gate, he was right there, looking for entry point into my body.

“Can we get a drink together?”

“Yes”

“Can we do it now?”

“Yes”

“Are you saved?”

“Yes”

“Did you enjoy the sermon?”

“Ye...”

“Do you think the pastor was describing you?”

“Y…”

“Can we get in here?”

The conversation was fast and his hand was first too. He led me into the next gate after the church. A lounge and people took their drinks and food from their rooms. The Lounge was strategically targeting saved brethren and sisters who knew Christ and had a relationship with him. The sisters and brothers who were waiting on the lord for husbands and wife used the place. However, most of them use the facility for breakfast before the church service begins.

Jaymo and I were shown into one of the tiny and dark room. He ordered for a cup of white coffee and I ordered milk. He moved close to me. I moved further and felt something on my neck, I moved back quickly and landed on his arms. He moved my legs to properly sit on him, his lips slightly above mine and we brought them together started kissing. His belt was hurting my ass and I asked him to adjust it. He adjusted even mine, opened my buttons and adjusted my bra too. He was kissing me all through, none of us said anything we just changed positions. I was facing him and shaking my waist to have his serve every part inside me. He was vibrating well as we managed our moarns. Before the waiter came back, I had already drunk a different kind of white thick liquid that looked like milk.

 When the waiter knocked, we opened the door and he served us our hot drinks. We needed the hot drinks because we were all shaken by our actions. After few minutes of gulping our drinks, Jaymo managed to talk,

“Can we meet on Saturday?”

“Yes”

“In an open public place?”

“Yes indeed”

“Can we avoid….”

“Yes we should.”

It is at this point that Diamond’s song started playing. I am yet to understand how we started dancing. I am pulling the ears of my dead bear so that I can stop hearing Jaymo’s voice. I want to hear the voice of the dead bear. It drives me mad because it never says anything to me. Yet sometimes I find comfort in it because I know it cannot tell me lies. However, I am sad since it cannot make me promises. It cannot protect or prevent me from doing anything. The bear is useless just like its lifeless nature. The more I think about every man that the dead bear knows the more I am convinced I should not have kept it.

I am throwing the dead bear away because of the misfortunes that it has brought in my life. I blame it for all the mistakes that I committed even though I was the one who made the choices. I feel that this dead bear was there, just watching me as I drowned my life. It never said anything when I cried after receiving my first slap. It did not warn me when he did not pick my call on a Friday night. It never stopped me from calling him ten times for ten days.

I have grown tired of the emotional turmoil of moving from one extreme to another. I cannot wait for another Saturday when the bear will be staring at me. Although this dead bear was not given to me on a valentine day, I choose to divest it on this Saturday that happens to be valentine day. I chose to dispose with it the unauthorized affairs that I have had over the years. I chose to throw away all the empty promises that keep making noise in my head. I choose to throw it away with the tears that come on my way whenever I try to find love. I chose to get rid of all the attachments that I have had with any man that I have loved in my life. I choose to just throw it all away from me.

Why do you Follow Them_Charisma

what  inspire you and draw you to them? Is it speaking well or being socially adroit or projecting an attractive, exciting image? Actually, it’s all of that—and more.
It’s charisma. And we all know charisma when we see it, even if it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint exactly why. But here’s my definition: Charisma is the ability to positively influence others by connecting with them physically, emotionally and intellectually.
It’s what makes people like you and enjoy being around you... even when they don’t know much about you.
But contrary to popular wisdom, charisma is not something you’re born with, like having blue eyes or brown hair. Instead, I think our personalities consist, let’s say, of a series of containers, like cups or glasses. Some are nearly empty, some brimming, yet others are partially filled to varying degrees. Together they constitute our potential charisma.
Here, as I see them, are the seven qualities of a person with great charisma:
1. They carry themselves well. Did you know you unconsciously send out signals to others? It’s your silent message. Maybe you look them right in the eye, or maybe you stare at your shoes when you talk. Perhaps you slump your shoulders, or maybe you square them assertively. You might smile naturally, or maybe you keep a straight face. All these shape your image.
2. They are persuasive. Everyone understands your message because charismatic people can distill complex ideas into simple messages.
3. They are smooth talkers. You may have a zillion terrific ideas, but who will know if you can’t articulate them? You have an innate ability to speak well and communicate.
4. They are good listeners. Rarely taught and infrequently practiced, listening is nonetheless a key to communicating and making others feel special in your presence.
5. They are aware of space and time. Again, though it’s often overlooked, use of spatial and temporal territories can make or break relationships.
6. They easily adapt to others. Building rapport means understanding other people’s personalities, then adapting your own behavior to increase compatibility.
7. They have great ideas. Regardless of how strong and persuasive a speaker you are, how adept you are at connecting with others or how well you listen, you’ve still got to have something to say… or you’ll just be an empty suit.
Learning to improve your charisma is more important than ever—especially for leaders. But why? Because our expectations have risen. We’ve come to demand more from people than mere competence. We don’t readily accept those who squirm, stumble over their words and don’t quite look us in the eye.
In this era of “empowerment,” when empathy and support are revered, charismatic people stand out because they’re communicators who are able to see things from another’s perspective and, thus, continually seek to find the common ground.
Those with personal magnetism, or charisma, are usually self-confident optimists. Viewing almost all problems as solvable—focusing on desired results rather than possible failures—helps encourage people to step forward and convert fear into challenge.
If you develop your charisma, you’re likely to do well in all aspects of life. Because, on several different levels, you’ll better connect with people. By definition, the charismatic person is more other-directed, more empathic. And that gives them more personal power, makes them more human—a big plus for anybody.

help someone, help yourself

Making Life better

Has someone ever done something good for you? Better yet, has a stranger or someone you hardly know that well ever done something good for you, something that was unexpected?

Do you remember that good warm feeling that you felt on the inside? That god feeling that probably brought tears of joy to your eyes? That’s a nice feeling.

Think about this do you realize that you have the power give someone that kind of feeling today? All it takes if for you to go out of your way and do something unexpectedly nice to someone.

The bible tells us that it is more blessed to give than to receive. I sometimes wonder if we really believe that because if we really did then we would be scrambling for and trying to outdo each other in the area of giving.

I have realized that I am not on this earth for myself; I am here to make someone’s life better. My focus in life should not be on myself and how much I can amass for myself but I should seek to make others lives better.

Everywhere Jesus went, he always made someone’s life better. Think about this: pressure… discouragement… stress… fear…

All this are focused on me and self. We never assume someone’s pressure of fear. This happens when I focus on me myself and i. The root word for miserable is miser.

Misers are miserable because they have no time for others and they are not willing to share their resources. Now I know that I cannot make the whole world better but I can make one life better.

If you have the power in your hand to do good, then do not withhold it. This is the purpose of prosperity. Don’t be like the Dead Sea, receiving and not making another life better.

If we as a church are not making lives better then we need to close our doors because we are not fulfilling our purpose. Today God will bring opportunities your way to do something worthwhile for someone else; it may even be a stranger.

If you and I are too focused on me and I then we will miss it. Let us not withhold doing good especially if it is in our power to do so. Stop taking about it, stop thinking about it, do something today to make another life better.

Opportunity

Opportunity

A neighbor knocked at the lazy man's door and told him of a position he could get by going after it. "Um," said the man, "it appears that considerable effort will be involved."

"Oh, yes," said the neighbor, "you will pass many sleepless nights and toilsome days, but it is good pay, and a chance for advancement." "Um," said the man, "and who are you?" "I am called Opportunity."

"Um! You call yourself Opportunity, but you look like Hard Work to me!" And he slammed the door!

As someone once said Contact with an opportunity is like contact with a live wire; it is likely to knock a man silly unless he is prepared to handle it. Opportunities just like a wave come and go.

Those who are ready ride the wave while those who are not ready face disaster. As Christians sometimes when we pray, we expect God to spoon feed us.

Because of that attitude, the attitude that says if it is Gods will for me then He will make it happen, He will bring it to me; We miss out on lots of opportunities.

Its amazing how one person sees problems and work while another sees an opportunity. Because many people are not willing to put in the work, take the risk and stay committed, few pounce on opportunities.

Two thieves on crosses next to Jesus, one is filed with hatred and complaining while his counterpart sees an opportunity to make things right.

Think of Zacchaeus in the midst of a crowd and he is a short man making him the least likely to be noticed.

Yet in the midst of a disadvantaged situation he sees an opportunity, sacrifices his reputation and climbs a tree. It took some work and some sacrifice but his life was never the same again!

Slow down and look around you…don’t just see problems, begin to see solutions that you can provide. What do you have what can you do with it? What do others need that you can provide?

Get to work and cease the opportunity before its shelf life expires!

Ephesians 5:15-16
“Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

---

Stop telling Me lies

A pastor finished his service one Sunday morning by saying, “next week I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection I would like all of you to read the 17th chapter of the book of Mark.

The next Sunday, the preacher rose to begin and said, “now all of you who have done as I requested and read the 17th chapter of Mark please raise your hands.” Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.

“Very good the preacher said you are precisely the people I want to speak to this morning. There is no 17th chapter in the book of Mark

It has become so natural to lie that we do it without a second thought. How many times have you seen someone get a phone call and lie about their location? The bible clearly tells us that he who pours out lies will perish.

It does not specify the magnitude of the lie like we do. We talk of white lies and green lies. No matter the color, a lie is a lie. The bible tells us that we shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free.

We lie about our whereabouts we lie about our age we lie about our jobs and about our families and we think it is OK. Some of us get “creative” when we are telling stories adding some details that were not necessarily part of the original story just to make the story more dramatic or to make us look good.

Remember the bible does tell us that the devil is the father of all lies. A lie has no legs. It requires other lies to support it. Tell one lie and you are forced to tell others to back it up.

Stretching the truth won't make it last any longer. Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colorblind. Someone once said that if you always speak the truth, you never have to remember what you said.

The same cannot be said about lies. We live in a society that has become obsessed with success and many will pursue success at any cost even if it means telling a few green white yellow or blue lies.

We say the end justifies the means. It is the tragedy of life. You may cheat some people some of the time but you cannot cheat all the people all of the time.

John 14:6
Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life and no one comes to the father but through me. You see failure often is an invitation to God to show that he is all-powerful and does not need help to make us great or to bless us.

Don’t be like Annanias and Saphirah who ended up learning the hard way that he who pours out lies will perish

show up for the fight

show up for the fight 
Compared to his opponent, he was only a teenager and had a small body frame. His opponent was massive, a huge man, a giant who made an experienced soldier shake in their boots.

The teenager was inexperienced in battle, his weapons were very crude and unrealistic and besides that he had no body armor. All he had was a small leather bag where he kept his weapons in the form of five smooth stones; in his hands he had a sling and a stick.

His opponent the giant was massive, to top that he was an experienced soldier a champion in his own right. He had on a bronze body armor that was 125 pounds probably more than the teenager weighed.

He carried a long spear and he had another soldier carry his shield before him. He was a fierce sight to behold. Imagine walking into the battle field and this is the sight you meet……who would you put your money on? The teenager or the experienced giant?

David had nothing in his favor in the natural. He was the underdog and in all human understanding he was going to be crushed like a cockroach in an instant.

But David was assured of something that no one else in the scenario knew about; he knew that God was with Him!

David did not focus on all the natural things that were against him, the very things that many tried to point out so as to dissuade him from going into battle with a warrior none of Israel was confident or willing to face.

David knew God was with him and he was assured that this was on battle God wanted him to fight and God would not disappoint. One stone is all it took and the giant was down!

Are you the underdog? Maybe you don’t have the qualifications and experience that everybody has and that intimidates you. Your ways may be crude and primitive like David’s sling compared to Goliath's sword and spear.

Don’t let that intimidate you don’t let all the talk pull you down, be confident in the God who has called you and led you into this battle.

He is a faithful God and He will give you the victory. Just be confident and show up for the fight. Regardless of what you see, stand firm to the end!

1 Samuel 17:45 (NIV)
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.

Jubilee Alliance Part (JAP)

Kenya: The ruling Jubilee coalition has been transformed into a single party in a development that will shake up the political landscape ahead of the 2017 General Election.
Registration of the new outfit, Jubilee Alliance Party (JAP), was published in a special gazette on Tuesday and the party unveiled in Nairobi’s Lavington area, yesterday.
The party will not only sponsor a candidate in the upcoming Kajiado Central by-election, but it will also be the vehicle through which the Jubilee administration will seek re-election in the 2017 presidential polls.
On Friday, TNA Secretary General Onyango Oloo and his counterpart from URP Fred Muteti indicated neither TNA nor URP was fielding a candidate in Kajiado Central. Instead, the contenders would compete under JAP.
“We (TNA) are conducting a joint nomination with URP but the candidate who will be unveiled after the nominations will be unveiled through the Jubilee Alliance Party and not TNA or URP. This is a step towards ensuring the two parties work together,” Mr Oloo said in a press conference at TNA offices in Nairobi yesterday.
This means that although the two parties do not stand dissolved before 2017, they are potentially on their death bed because they will henceforth be inconsequential politically.
JAP’s registration was a closely guarded secret and only less than 10 MPs were aware of the development until Thursday this week when the reports started circulating. On Thursday, even a copy of the special gazette was still unavailable at the Government press where we visited twice to make inquiries.
JAP officials are Mombasa businessman Nelson Dzuya (chairperson) who unsuccessfully contested Kaloleni parliamentary seat in the last elections, Nairobi lawyer Veronica Nduati (secretary general) and Kericho businessman Alfred Kipkorir Mutai (treasurer).
Others are former Gatanga MP and President Uhuru Kenyatta’s close ally David Murathe who will be the party’s vice chairperson. Credible sources indicate President Kenyatta requested inclusion of Murathe on the party list.
Others are Pamela Mutua (organising secretary), Fatuma Mahamud (deputy treasurer) and Senator Yusuf Hajji’s son Abdul Hajji who rose to fame during the Westgate attack.
Speaking during the unveiling of JAP, Mr Murathe said the party has countrywide representation. Secretary general Veronicah Nduati, in reference to Kajiado Central by-elections said: “Today we unveil our candidates who are well aware that whoever wins the nomination will be supported all the way to the ballot.”
Top officials close to the ruling coalition acquired the Conservative Party that was renamed Jubilee Alliance Party through Tuesday’s special gazette notice.
Last Friday, Registrar of Political Parties had notified in a gazette notice: “In exercise of the power conferred by section 20 (l) (c) of the Political Parties Act, 2011, the Registrar of Political Parties gives notice that Conservative Party intends to change or amend its party.”
Through the notice former Conservative Party officials Ruth Njoroge (chairperson), Joseph Ouma Muga (secretary general) and Sarah Wambui Ngatho (treasurer) were dropped. Three days later, the party would be renamed.
President Kenyatta’s TNA and Deputy President William Ruto’s URP are the main partners in the Jubilee coalition.
The parties struck a pre-election agreement in the lead up to the 2013 General Election to form the Jubilee coalition that swept to power after defeating Raila Odinga’s Coalition for Reforms and Democracy (CORD).
The development could be a pointer that ruling coalition could as well have started their strategy for 2017 polls.Registrar of Political Parties Lucy Ndung’u approved the registration of the new outfit. She was, however, not available for a comment.
On Thursday, reports indicated that TNA’s Oloo, his URP counterpart Fred Muteti, Majority Leader Aden Duale, Kigumo MP Jamleck Kamau and Kericho Senator Charles Keter attended a meeting at State House, Nairobi, with the President and his deputy that is understood to have discussed the approach to the Kajiado Central by-election.
It is understood that President Kenyatta and Deputy President William Ruto tasked their trusted lieutenants Majority Leader Aden Duale, Kigumo MP Jamleck Kamau and Senator Charles Keter to drive registration of the new party with utmost secrecy until the party is officially unveiled. This, they achieved because up until Thursday this week, MP’s and Senators were still in the dark.
When The Standard on Saturday learnt of the new party early this week and sought more information from various leaders, majority of those we spoke to had no idea of such a move.
When contacted for comment, Duale and Keter promised to call back but they did not. Kamau would not speak further except to say, “I support the idea of forming one strong united party.” Duale would later say, while attending a function in Laikipia county, he welcomes the decision.
However, in some circles, the development has caused unease especially among some TNA MPs, apprehensive that it kills a party they have worked so hard to build.
Even though they declined to be quoted for fear of being seen as contradicting the top leadership of the coalition, the legislators claimed the move to create a single party for the coalition is an agenda driven by URP in preparation for 2017 general elections.
“We have heavily advised against this decision. It has been in the offing for quite some time now and we felt we were better off if we remained as individual parties in a coalition. You see, it is in URP’s best interest that we have one party so that after 2017, the Deputy President will inherit one party so that TNA will not have a chance to negotiate as an equal player in the coalition.
The benefit of retaining these parties is essentially for each of us to have a platform through which we can negotiate and ensure everybody is fairly represented. That has now been defeated,” said a TNA MP. Other MPs protested that the process was undertaken behind their backs.
Igembe South MP Mithika Linturi said, “It is unclear if the new Jubilee Alliance Party will gain the support of members because in my estimation over 95 per cent of them were not consulted and are not aware of the proposed merger. Political parties are about interests and what I am concerned about is whose interest is this new Jubilee party serving?”
The move taken by the Jubilee administration is characteristic of past practice where new political parties are formed a year or two to the general elections.
In 2002 polls, several political parties including Democratic Party led then by former President Mwai Kibaki, Ford Kenya under stewardship of the late Vice-President Kijana Wamalwa and Liberal Democratic Movement under Raila Odinga folded up to form National Rainbow Coalition (NARC). It was this coalition that forced an end to 24 years of Moi rule.
However, the coalition would run into problems in the run up to the 2005 constitutional referendum that culminated into sacking of Raila Odinga-led camp in government. Raila proceeded to register a new political outfit, Orange Democratic Movement (ODM).

Source : The Standard

potential to grow

No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to grow, to increase, to be strengthened and move forward. There is much more inside of you that is waiting to be discovered! Hope in the Lord, and He will renew you!

If someone lacked decency or respect

If someone lacked decency or respect, I didn't allow that person to stay in my world.

What are you prophesying over your life?

Sometimes, the enemy doesn’t have to defeat us—we defeat ourselves. Pay attention to what you’re saying. What are you prophesying over your life? Make sure you are blessing it, not cursing it.

keep that person

A RELATIONSHIP is not about having a handsome boyfriend or having a beautiful girlfriend. It’s not about looking for a perfect person because there isn't any perfect person on earth. It’s not about looking for a well off or a rich person. Having a lot of money doesn't mean that one has too much pure love. MONEY CAN’T BUY LOVE.
A relationship is about finding someone who respects you, who cares about you in anyway h/she can afford, who understands you, who is proud of having you, who loves you the way you are. Who is faithful to you, who knows how to comfort you, who knows to encourage you and who would accept the worst of you & who will go through everything without giving up on you. Such people are very rare to find these days.
If you have got one, just keep that person. Handle him or her with care, be honest & contented with that person and don’t ever thing of hurting & letting down of that special person..... heart 

Fogiven and Forgiven

A little boy visiting his grandparents and given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to Grandma's back yard, he spied her pet duck.

On an impulse he took aim and let fly. The stone hit, and the duck fell dead. The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to look up and see his sister watching.

Mary had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch that day, Grandma said, "Mary, let's wash the dishes ." But Mary said, "Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn't you, Johnny?" And she whispered to him, "Remember the duck!" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, "I'm sorry, but I need Mary to help make supper." Mary smiled and said, "That's all taken care of. Johnny wants to do it." Again she whispered, "Remember the duck." Johnny stayed while Mary went fishing.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Mary's, finally he couldn't stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he'd killed the duck. "I know, Johnny," she said, giving him a hug. "I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you.

I wondered how long you would let Mary make a slave of you." Guilt is based on the fact that someone knows that they have violated Gods righteous law. To deal with this we confess our sins to God.

This means that we honestly agree with him that we have done wrong and we stop giving excuses. Godly sorrow moves us to make permanent changes that break that cycle of guilt and sinful behavior.

There is also another kind of guilt that is false. This is based on personal feelings rather than facts. Satan accuses forgiven sinners and causes them to live a defeated life by reminding them of former things they did or did not do. Remember the duck?

Satan wants you to think that God is disgusted with your behavior and that you are hopeless. Have you believed the enemies lies? Has guilt kept you from living a victorious life? Have you truly repented?

If you have repented then remember Romans 8:31-35 (NIV) What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

PRACTICAL APPLICATION
If you are truly guilty then ask for forgiveness and God will forgive you. If you are falsely guilty arise above the devils accusations and remember nothing can separate you from the love of God. Don’t look at the rear view mirror but look through the windscreen into the bright future that God has for you.

7 Things to NEVER Say to Your Husband

7 Things to NEVER Say to Your Husband

One of the best things about marriage is that you can say anything and everything that you want to say to your husband. However, is it really a wise idea to say everything to your husband? Fact is that sometimes ugly truth comes out in a hurtful way if you don’t watch your mouth. Even though what you say may be logical it has to be said in a manner which is not harsh and does not hurt your husband’s feelings. Everyone has some problem or other but couples should learn the skill of speaking kindly.
Following are some samples of things you might say that can be worked on:
• You’re just like your father:
Saying this to your husband should be avoided as this may be his fear, that the worst traits of his family are exhibited by him. Instead of comparing him with his father, you can go directly to your point. If your father-in-law does not value time and is often late and you think your husband also does this, explain the importance of time management to him affectionately instead of criticizing.
• When are you going to find a new job:
First, why do you want him to find a new job? Is it the amount of time that he spends away from home that bothers you or do you think that he can do better in his career? Be clear about your thinking before you say anything that might hurt him. A man evaluates himself by the way he takes care of his family and insulting him in such a sensitive area is not a good idea. The solution is to talk about your issues with him then find solutions together that both of you can work toward.
y mother warned me you would do this:
This is the last thing he would like to hear from you. You would probably say this when you are infuriated but by saying this you are letting him know that there are others on your side. This can also feel like a breach of the sanctity of marriage, to discuss perceived failings to others. Come directly to the point you are trying to make instead of informing him what others think.

• My mother warned me you would do this:
This is the last thing he would like to hear from you. You would probably say this when you are infuriated but by saying this you are letting him know that there are others on your side. This can also feel like a breach of the sanctity of marriage, to discuss perceived failings to others. Come directly to the point you are trying to make instead of informing him what others think.
• Just leave it, I will do it myself:
This can hurt your husband in two ways: First it raises questions about your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter, and capable person in the house, while conveying to your husband that his efforts are sub-par.
• “You always …….” Or “You Never…..”
Its advisable for couples to drop these phrases from their vocabulary, using them sets a negative tone, stops communication, and forces the other person to be defensive.
• Oh! We have to hang out with him again:
If he has any friend whose company is not comfortable for you, don’t force him to leave his friend, instead let him spend time with his friend and you can do something you want to do, or compromise.
• Please watch the kids. Don’t be careless, don’t do this….
A new mom is often nervous and tends to be over-cautious in terms of her child. Just be a little careful while trying to instruct your husband as he should not feel that you know everything and he knows nothing, it’s his child too.

The power of small things

We are so blinded by the big things we think we out to have, we end up missing out on the small things that God can use.God will always ask you what you have in your hand because he is the one who gave it to you and unless you recognize it then you will miss your miracle.

This one thing is for sure “nobody has nothing everybody always has something no matter how small” In John 6 all that was available were 5 loaves and 2 fish and look at what the Lord did with that once it was put in his hands.

Moses the great man of God only had a staff…..an everyday normal looking kind of stick that shepherds used but look at what it turned out to be in the hands of a mighty God!

Do not say that you have nothing….only a little money…only a little education….only a little faith, don’t you know that all you require is faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain?......a little a little a little.

That is all God is looking for, a little. Take stock of what you have. What do you have that you can bring to God and ask Him to bless? Your voice, skills, abilities…….what?

There my friend lays your miracle! I can’t finish here I just had another thought……..oil represents the anointing; the more it was poured into other vessels the more it kept flowing.

It still looked small from the container it was flowing from but it was a lot when you looked at the containers it was filling and it only stopped flowing when it stopped filling other containers.

The loaves and the fish looked small as they were being broken but the more they were distributed the more they multiplied.

The small you have will always remain small if it stays in your hands…the multiplication effect comes when you forget about yourself and start being a blessing to others though you may need it more….dont hold on to what you have….

pour into someone else besides don’t you remember the other widow in 1 Kings 17? When she fed the prophet first instead of herself and her son, then she never lacked!

Whispers in the Night

Whispers in the Night
I wish to highlight
The mood is right
On this spotlight
In this twilight
Hold me tight
I feel light
Do it right all night
In you I delight
You are my knight

At Times

Times
Time comes running
Opportunities comes crawling
Space does not go anywhere
Sun and moon keep moving people
Stars come when time and opportunities meet people
Chance runs when people have time and space but no opportunity
Clouds cover sun and moon,
Time when space is fed with rain
Sun shines on people with time and space
Moon lights opportunities when there is no time
Times come when moon and sun leave leave room for each other

My Dress is Not My Choice

Here is what the priest told them:
He took a good look at them and made them
sit.
Then he said something that, they might
never forget in their life.
He looked at them straight in the eyes and
said, "ladies, everything that God made
valuable in this world is well covered and
hardly to see, find or get.

1. Where do you find diamonds?
Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
2. Where do you find pearls?
Deep down at the bottom of the ocean covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
3. Where do you find gold?
Way down in the mine, covered over with layers of rock and to get them, you have to work hard & dig deep down to get them.
He looked at them with serious eyes and said,
"Your body is sacred & unique" You are far
more precious than gold diamonds and
pearls, and you should be covered too."
So he added that, if you keep your treasured
mineral just like gold, diamond & pearls,
deeply covered up, a reputable mining
organization with the requisite machinery will
fly down and conduct years of extensive
exploration.
First, they will contact your government
(family),
Sign professional contracts (wedding) and
Mine you professionally (legal marriage.
But if you leave your precious minerals
uncovered on the surface of the earth, you
always attract a lot of illegal miners(men who
lust over you) to come and mine you illegally.
Everybody will just pick up their crude
instruments and think they can dig you.
(propose to you anyhow & say that you are
the most prettiest lady & have sex with you)
That is Galamsey, (Prostitution, Hit & run,
etc )
Women, don't open yourself for Galamsey
operators. Keep your bodies deeply covered
so that it invite professional miners to chase
you.
Let us all encourage our daughters of Zion
(Ladies) to dress well & refrain from sexual
immorality...
I pray that women(ladies) of this generation
will rise up to expectation in Jesus mighty
name.

Reading Bible at OB Desk
i went to central police station today to report an incident and found this officer at the O.B desk reading a bible and out of curiosity i decided to test his biblical knowledge so i asked" sir,who killed abel ?"his response was..uliza corporal  ndio anahusiga na murder

CIRCUMCISER’S KNIFE

By Jacqueline Kamau

Each boy was being called by name to get into the mud, grass roofed hut by the river bed. The voice that was calling names was so deep and angry. The boy who answered was asked to get in followed by Munyitiriri, the person who will make you stand strong.

“Franjethi !!”

This is how the circumciser called my name.  At this time, correct pronunciation of the name was not important; it was my turn to get in. I was almost naked among men. Some who were brave and thirty seven others like me who were trying to be brave. Munyitiriri followed me into the room. He knew where to stand.

Inside the hut, one man was standing near a small table in the left side of the door. There were medical bottles, surgery knives, spirit, medicine, cotton wool, syringe and needles among other things on the table. The hut was dark with just one small window opposite the table. Some liquid was shining beneath the metallic bench  near the three legged stool but I could not tell what it was. Three other men who were tall, dark and strong were standing behind a metallic bench in the middle of the room. At the center of the room there was a three legged stool

“Ruta thurwari”

The man ordered in a deeper voice. My big short fell on the ground before he could say anything else.  I made two steps out of my shorts.  I was totally naked in a hut with five men. I wanted to be a man like most of my age mates. I enjoyed the early morning walk, the gifts that came before hand including one big short from my mother, a pair of jeans, belt and reebok  sport shoes. My father gave me enough threats,

“My son if I hear that u cried, I will disown you ”

“I have never cried in front of my enemies”

“These are not your enemies; these are your bridge into adulthood.”

“I will respect them father”

“If you scream that is disrespect to them. If you disrespect other people it means I did not teach you well. It means that u disrespect me. The punishment for disrespect has been is getting your own food because u abuses the hand that feeds you.”

“Father I will not fail you”

“Father you have not given me a gift. Mother gave me this short”

“That is my short, but u can have it a gift from me”

I stood there facing the man who was busy mixing some drugs. The man was short like my father. However his voice was too loud when he commanded me

“Rora nakuu”

I turned and faced the three men that I dreaded.

“I was going to be circumcised by three men?”  I wished my trembling lips could ask.

Without any notice, the man behind injected me in my ass.  The medicine froze my left bottom. He removed the needle and rubbed the medicine with a small piece of cotton wool.

“Sit down”  

He told me without any concern about my nakedness.  I wanted to remain standing and allow my ass to cool down. I struggled to sit with one ass trying to cover the tower in between my legs with my shaking thighs. Before my hot ass could be calmed down by the cold metallic bench,

“Rora naguku”

He ordered me to face him and I heard a sharp sound after he moved his seat closer to me.

    As my body was rotating, I saw the circumciser a very sharp blade that was very shinny. It gave a reflection of his dark, wrinkled face. He seemed like a ruthless middle aged man. He sat in the three leggeled stool before me.

“Tagania maguru” he said parting my legs.  The tower was more  shrunken than my courage. I wanted to run away but the three men comforted me with their powerful hands pressing hard on me.

    I saw my foreskin being cut all round, blood was spilling on the floor and a sharp pain was hitting my back with every cut. I was not allowed to cry, I was not supposed to scream but I was allowed to close my eyes and allow myself to be a man.  When the circumciser stood up , I look at munyitiriri, no single tear on my face but very watery eyes  telling him,

“ I have survived despite the pain.”

He came closer and placed his right hand on my left shoulder. I thought this was his way of saying congratulations. The circumciser turned towards me again. He was holding a needle and a string. I pushed hard to get out before he could touch my tower again.  Munyitiriri’s hand  were a reinforcement. I was held tight as the circumciser pulled the string through my skin.  The string that has given me powers to pull down any string above and below a girls waist including g-string.

The circumciser finished stitching and wiped my tower. He went back to shelves. The three masculine men walked out without saying any word. For a break I guess after I had drowned their strength with my struggles. Munyitiriri was given cotton wool and spirit. I had already received my manhood. Although I wished I could walk naked, Munyitiriri gave me my short. As a boy, I complained about its big size. As a man, I appreciate its space.

The deep voice of the circumciser,

“Ruta Thuruary” keep coming into my mind as I walk out. I should ask Munyitiriri if I should order girls to remove their pants too or should I tell them words that will make their pants fall down or should I just remove the pants and use the available space.