So how to be happy in life?

So how to be happy in life?

It’s not about avoiding sadness, it’s actually about embracing the negativity in life while enjoying every moment you’re going through it.

Sounds challenging? Let’s just start with some really simple things you can do do feel happier and enjoy your life more:

1. Massage. Who wouldn’t mind receiving a pleasant massage? No matter whether it’s performed by a professional or by your spouse, gentle touches make everyone feel happy and good. Especially if it concerns women, who like massages most of all.
2. Talking with friends. When you talk to somebody who understands you very well and who can support you and help you whenever you need – this is true happiness. Humans are social animals, so these social connections will help satisfy your emotional needs.
3. Walking. You need to spend time outdoors at least an hour a day. Walking outdoors can greatly improve your mood, helps you to keep fit and remain healthy, thus making you a little bit happier.
4. Music. You should listen to music everyday. It can be classics or just a slow and calming melody, which will help you to relax and feel good.
5. Avoid negative thoughts. Stop thinking only of bad things, get rid of your fears, try to be an optimist. Avoid negative topics for discussing. Don’t watch bad news on TV all the time. All this can make you depressed and not happy at all.
6. Relaxing bath. Prepare a relaxing bath with rose petals and oils (if you want). Giving a little relaxation to your body will make you feel much happier.
7. Meditation, as with other relaxation practices, raises the level of your energy and improves your mental health. Try to meditate at least once a day. It’s also very useful to meditate when out in the nature.
8. Shopping. Women love it! But it can be a good thing for men as well. I’m not talking only of clothes, everything counts. Don’t you like to buy something new for yourself? We all like it, don’t we?
9. Dancing. Any kind of dancing is a great thing to raise your mood, shake off negative emotions, express your sexuality, and become happier.
10. Yoga. Yoga practice can soothe your mind and give you more energy. Doing it regularly can be a great step to a happier life.
11. Providing help. No matter how strange it may seem, helping others is a great way to become happier. When doing this you feel positiveness inside you. You know that you’re doing something good.
12. Reading. Read a good book. It’s especially useful to read stories about people’s lives. Studying their fate, you can better understand your own personality.
13. Cooking. It’s a good thing when done together with your beloved. Doing something together will help you both to feel happier.
14. Home. It’s not only a place where you sleep, it’s where you spend most of your time, you relax there, bring up your kids, etc. So do something for your home. Make it as comfortable and nice as you can.
15. Plans. Making plans for your future is a powerful thing. There are no guarantees that all of them will be fulfilled, but the more you plan the bigger are the chances that you’ll succeed in your life.
16. Picnic. Go on a picnic with your friends and family. Spend some time outdoors, enjoying nature, breathing fresh air and having fun.
17. Water is a great generator of a good mood. Starting with a bath or a shower and ending with pools, lakes or seas – this is a great way to relax, feel happy and enjoy your life.
18. Physical activity will not only help you to keep fit and remain healthy but will also improve your mood and will help you to get rid of stress.
19. Healthy lifestyle. Bad habits negatively influence your life. And it’s not only smoking, it may be laziness, spending too much time watching TV, etc. And believe me, if you’re not healthy you are far from being happy.
20. Diary. Keeping a diary will help you to analyze yourself, your failures and success, your relationship, work, etc. It’s a great way to understand yourself.
21. Personal photos. Having a photo album is a great way to recollect on life, think of the happiest moments, thus being happy right now.
22. Love. Yeah, love hurts, but it also gives wings. If you love and you’re loved, then you’re the happiest person is the world, aren’t you?
23. Staying alone. Spend some time alone. It’s a good chance to think over your problems, to analyze your work, make plans for the future.
24. Kids. What can be better than watching your kids grow, playing with them and making them smile and laugh? Isn’t it true happiness?
25. Dignity. Be sure of your uniqueness, only then you’ll find your place in this world.

Remember, happiness isn’t a myth. It’s just all up to you. You build your own fate… and only YOU can do it. Stop trying to find happiness and start enjoying the little things in life to feel happy.

8 Ways to Appear Confident Even When You Don’t Feel It

Lindsey Lewis

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You know those moments, the ones where you’re doing something important and maybe even head-over-heels exciting…and on the inside you’re kinda, well, terrified? In those moments most of us would absolutely love to appear confident, even when we don’t feel it. Because the moments that terrify us are usually the ones that have to do with things that are very important to us.

Appearing confident has a lot to do with tricks and tools to help you be confident and build confidence. Here are 8 ways to appear confident even when you don’t feel it

1. Stop imagining what other people are thinking

We call the part of us that’s keen to impress people our social self. It’s the part of you that loves to work with other people, have other people think well of you, and can be used very effectively to collaborate on important things.

But if your social self gets out of balance, it’ll start to do things like convince you that the most important thing is to think about is what other people are thinking. Wrong! The most important thing when you want to appear confident is to NOT think about what other people are thinking. This doesn’t mean we’re not attuned to their responses; it means we’re in a state of deeper presence that helps us communicate in a way that they’ll respond well to.

2. Don’t listen to your inner lizard

We all have an inner lizard – comprised of almond-shaped nuclei called amygdala in the temporal region of the brain. These little guys are pretty much in charge of fear- and negativity-based thinking. When we’re stressed – which we are to a certain extent when not feeling confident – stress hormones activate the amygdala and our fear- and negativity-based thinking. Try this: imagine your biggest worries come out of the mouth of…a lizard. Did you laugh at how silly that seems? Good. Wouldn’t you love to laugh at those thoughts?

3. Affirm that you can trust yourself

How? Author Daniel Pink says studies show that posing the challenge as a question and then answering “yes” leads to a greater sense of our own abilities than simply telling ourselves we can. I asked myself “Can I trust myself?” and I answered “Yes.” Pink also recommends listing three reasons why, f.e. “I’ve done things like this in the past, I’m dependable, and other people have told me they trust me.”

4. Look for evidence

Dr. Martha Beck, an Oprah-contributing life coach, says our brain seems to be hard-wired to respond to the number three. If we think of three times we’ve done something, we begin to think of ourselves as someone who does that thing.

5. Don’t compile evidence that people can tell you’re not confident

If you’re like me, then you have a hunch that instead of looking for evidence that proves people are responding well to you, you tend to instead to see evidence of people not responding well to you. And you’re not alone. Many of us first begin to look for proof that our fears are true, instead of looking for evidence that proves they’re not. So don’t do this; look for evidence that people are responding well to you.

6. Know that lack of confidence is just part of the process

Tell me if I’m wrong, but I have a hunch you’ve had other times when you felt nervous about doing something or being under-skilled. And I bet you became more confident over time. The lack of confidence is just part of what happens at the beginning.

7. Remember this: it’s just a feeling-state

Tomorrow, or even later today, you’ll feel differently. This will pass and you’ll be onto something else. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor talks about how the chemical response of most feeling-states actually only lasts about 90 seconds. After that, the chemicals are flushed through. It’s our thoughts that keep us in a state or response any longer than that. The big takeaway? Let the response be there, feel it move through your body, and then stop thinking about it.

8. See it as a sign that you’re doing something great

Nervousness or lack of confidence often means you’re growing and challenging your own fears. And no matter how small the action may seem, challenging our fears is a great thing.

Most of all, confidence is a practice. Lucky for us, the brain isn’t fused into place; it’s malleable and changeable. New neural pathways can be created, and our reactions can become conscious responses, helping us to live the life we want to live.

Good luck!

Language of Love

Everybody generally has their own primary love languages for receiving love and giving love. It may be the same for giving/receiving, and it may be different. If a husband does not meet the primary love language of his wife, she might not sense his true feelings and start to be unsatisfied with their relationship.

Understanding your spouse’s love language and acting accordingly will fill their “Love Tank”. The “Love Tank” analogy is a great metaphor for describing how loved someone feels. Like a gas tank in a car, our lives run best when our Love Tank is filled and constantly being topped off. The alternative is running on fumes and burning out.

Meeting people’s primary love language consistently will fill up their love tank and help them feel loved like they need. But if a spouse fails to meet this primary love language, it might leave their “Love Tank” empty, which leads to feelings of being unloved and issues in relationships.

Below is a summary of Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages with three questions at the bottom to discern what is your primary love language:

Summary: What are the Five Love Languages?

1. Words of Affirmation

“If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.”

2. Acts of Service

“If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language.”

3. Affection

“This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language.”

4. Quality Time

“This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.”

5. Gifts

“Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel appreciated.”

How to figure out your primary language:

1. Your upbringing can speak into your love language. How did you parents show you love growing up? What made you feel the most loved as a child? There is a high probability that is your primary love language.
2. When you really want to show someone you care about them, what first comes to your mind to show it? Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language as well.
3. Painful relational experiences can show your primary love language. If someone close to you hurt you in a deep way or neglected to show love the way you wanted, perhaps the deep hurt/dissatisfaction came because the way you most feel loved was not met. This means that what they failed to do is what you value the most because it is your primary love language.

High Level

High Level

Sometimes you wonder why you experience big challenges in your life but I want you to know that they are proportional to your level. High level people do not face low level challenges . It’s the tallest trees that suffer the most wind. In a war they target the soldier who has the biggest weapon. In football they focus on marking the best player. The devil will attack you because he knows how powerful you are. Remember that whatever God allows you to go through he knows that you have the capacity to withstand it and come out stronger . Challenges are like steps of a ladder, each time you overcome them you go to the next level. I would rather face challenges as I go to a higher level than stay at a lower level without challenges.

1 Cor 10:13......And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear......and he will take you through/provide means to go through.

Amen

My Shepherd; My Provider

My Shepherd; My Provider

Psalm 23:1-2 (AMP)
The LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me],I shall not want. 2 He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still and quiet waters.

As a good Shepherd the Lord knows what is best for me and as sheep trust and heed to the call of the good shepherd so should I. The Lord makes me lie down in green pastures; He knows what is best for me. Sometimes I may think I know what I need but I need to trust that God knows what is good for me. I read this about sheep and it really amazed me; Sheep are not the kind of animals that just lie down easily. They only do when 4 conditions are met. First, they will not lie down if they are afraid. Second they will not lie down if there is friction amongst them. Third if parasites are troubling them they will not lie down and fourthly if they are hungry they will not lie down. They need perfect peace so as to lie down and that’s the picture Psalm 23 paints for us that we are able to lie down in green pastures because we have no fear or friction. We are also not bothered by pests and we are well fed. Now that’s reassuring!

He leads me besides still and quiet waters because shepherds do not allow the sheep to drink from running waters. This is because the sheep may fall in as they bend to drink. Therefore the shepherds draw water from the wells and give it to their sheep. Our good shepherd knows that and thus He will never lead us to a place of danger.
Provision is one of the main things that we worry about, it is what keeps many people awake and anxious and they have no rest. The good shepherd understands that and that is why Jesus tells us in;

Matthew 6:31-32
31 Therefore do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ 32For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

A good shepherd knows what his sheep needs and he will lead them to a place where they will find adequate provision. We need to walk with God following in faith where He leads us. If we do, we will never lack and we will always operate from a place of rest.

Borrowed from Family Media 

Sick With God

Well I have, traveled the world. And I have spoke to millions of people, but that’s not the most important thing, success that I had the most important thing is that what she taught me, what she told me that day has stayed with me since.

I’ve been protected, I’ve been directed, I’ve been corrected, I’ve kept god in my life and it’s kept me humble, I didn’t always stick with him but he always stuck with me.

So stick with him, in everything you do, if you think you want to do, what you think I’ve done, then do what I’ve done. And stick with God.

Denzel Washington: 'Number one: Put God first', Dillard University - 2015

I’ve been protected, I’ve been directed, I have been raised, I’ve been corrected, I’ve kept God in my life 
and 
God stuck with me

The Act of Marriage _ Review

Chapter 1: The Sanctity of Sex[edit source]

This chapter sets out to convince the reader that sex is holy and sacred, not dirty—an attitude they have found to be prevalent among the couples they have counseled. They cite several examples in both the Old Testament and New Testament where intimate behavior between married persons is commended.

Chapter 2: What Lovemaking Means to a Man[edit source]

In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that men derive from intimacy with their wives:

1. It satisfies his sex drive, which is usually greater than his wife's.
2. It boosts his self image.
3. It increases the love he feels for his wife and makes it less likely that he will engage in extramarital affairs.
4. It calms him down and makes him less prone to find fault with his family.
5. It provides one of the most exciting experiences of his life.

Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing wives that it is okay for their husbands to want to have sex with them.

Chapter 3: What Lovemaking Means to a Woman[edit source]

In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that women derive from intimacy with their husbands.

1. It fulfills her sense of womanhood.
2. It reassures her of her husband's love. They point out that a woman needs to feel companionship love, compassionate love, romantic love, and affectionate love from her husband before she will feel ready to accept passionate love.
3. It satisfies her sex drive.
4. It helps her to relax and to not be high-strung.
5. It is the ultimate experience when properly done.

Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing husbands that women can and need to be sexually satisfied, too.

Chapter 4: Why God Created Sex[edit source]

In this chapter the authors present five reasons that God created sex, in spite of how it is misused by many.

1. It is needed to propagate the human race.
2. It provides a married couple the means to give mutual pleasure.
3. It allows spouses to be fulfilled with each other and to be less tempted by other sexual opportunities.
4. The husband will have claim over his wife and the wife will have claim over her husband.
5. It creates a unique union and method of communication between two people that cannot be shared with anyone else.

Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing couples that sex is a blessing from God, but that it should only be experienced within the bonds of marriage.

Chapter 5: Sex Education[edit source]

This chapter explains the male and female sex organs and how they respond to sexual stimulation. Some counsel is given on how to avoid or reduce pain when breaking the hymen. Emphasis is placed on the clitoris as the seat of the female orgasm. The differences between male and female orgasms are also outlined.

Chapter 6: The Art of Lovemaking[edit source]

This chapter outlines the basic steps taken during a lovemaking session. It includes preparations that should be taken, foreplay, the act itself, and the "afterglow" that follows completion of the act. They stress the importance of the husband waiting until his wife is fully aroused before entering her vagina and proceeding to orgasm. They recommend that a couple use their honeymoon for experimentation so that they can best learn how to please their partner. The importance of clitoral stimulation to achieve female orgasm is again stressed. Male and female sexual responses are again compared and a brief discussion of positions is given.

Chapter 7: For Men Only[edit source]

This chapter gives eleven suggestions on how men can satisfy their wives.

1. Educate yourself on the female anatomy.
2. Learn to control your ejaculation so it does not happen prematurely.
3. Concentrate on the woman's satisfaction, not your own.
4. Remember what arouses a woman (companionship, compassionate, romantic, and affectionate love).
5. Control your temper.
6. Avoid the use of crude words.
7. Avoid speaking of private matters with friends and colleagues.
8. Avoid smelling bad.
9. Avoid rushing the act.
10. Have open communication with your wife.
11. Love your wife as a person.

Chapter 8: For Women Only[edit source]

This chapter gives nine suggestions on how women can satisfy their husbands and achieve satisfaction themselves during the sex act.

1. Keep a positive mental attitude. This is broken down into three parts: have a positive attitude about sex, a positive attitude about yourself, and a positive attitude about your husband.
2. Recognize that many inhibitions need to be abandoned in the bedroom.
3. Remember that your husband is stimulated by sight.
4. Avoid nagging, criticizing, or ridiculing your husband.
5. Remember that while you may not be in the mood for sexual relations when your husband makes advances, you are capable of responding and "getting into the mood."
6. Keep your feminine parts clean.
7. Communicate with your husband and tell him what pleases you.
8. Pray and ask God for help in achieving sexual satisfaction.

Chapter 9: The Unfulfilled Woman[edit source]

This chapter declares that many wives are not as satisfied by sexual encounters as they could be because they fail to achieve orgasm. Eleven reasons are given why women might experience dissatisfaction with sex and suggestions are given on how to overcome those problems.

1. Ignorance on both her part and her husband's part on how to achieve clitoral orgasm.
2. Feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else, especially her husband.
3. Feelings of guilt, especially those brought on by premarital sex premarital or extramarital indiscretions.
4. Fear that she will not be able to be satisfied or satisfy her husband.
5. Being too passive during the act.
6. A husband who ejaculates before she has climaxed
7. Fatigue.
8. Illness.
9. Being overweight.
10. Being unwilling to surrender herself to her husband.
11. Having weak vaginal muscles.

Chapter 10: The Key to the Feminine Response[edit source]

This chapter explains how Dr. Arnold H. Kegel started training women to exercise their pubococcygeus muscle in order to curb postpartum incontinence. It was discovered that a side effect of this exercise was to improve women's ability to experience orgasm. The authors recommend an exercise regimen for women seeking to improve their sexual response.

Chapter 11: The Impotent Man[edit source]

This chapter gives nineteen reasons why husbands may experience inability to maintain an erection or ejaculate and gives suggestions on how to overcome those problems.

1. The onset of age: they will lose vital energy as they get older.
2. Feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else, especially his wife.
3. Fear (of rejection, of being unable to satisfy his wife, of being compared with other men, of failure to maintain erection or to ejaculate).
4. Ridicule from his wife.
5. Feelings of guilt, especially those brought on by premarital or extramarital indiscretions.
6. Having unreasonable expectations about how he will be able to perform as his age increases.
7. Obesity.
8. Poor physical fitness.
9. Heavy smoking.
10. Mental pressure from outside concerns.
11. Depression.
12. Drugs and alcohol.
13. Masturbation.
14. If his wife has weak vaginal muscles.
15. A wife who is too passive during the act.
16. Nagging from his wife.
17. A dominating wife.
18. Premature ejaculation.
19. Retarded ejaculation.

Chapter 12: Sane Family Planning[edit source]

The authors express their belief that a husband and wife should produce as many children as they can reasonably manage and deplore several reasons some give for avoiding parenthood. They counter with several reasons why parents should seek to have and raise children. They then give suggestions for contraception that they believe are appropriate for Christians (because they are not abortifacient). They recommend, in order of reliability, birth control pills, condoms, diaphragms, vaginal foam, the rhythm method, and coitus interruptus. They recommend against permanent methods, such as vasectomy and having tubes tied.

Chapter 13: Sex Survey Report[edit source]

The authors report the results of a survey they conducted. Their intent is to show that a) Christians have more fulfilling sex lives than their non-Christian counterparts and b) Christians don't have the Victorian attitudes about sex that they are stereotyped as having.

Chapter 14: The Missing Dimension[edit source]

In this chapter the authors advocate that the most important element to a satisfying sex life and a satisfying life overall is to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They advocate a Christian lifestyle and suggest that a shared belief in Christ will help a couple overcome incompatibilities.

Chapter 15: Practical Answers to Common Questions[edit source]

In this chapter, the authors field questions on a variety of topics, including abortion, adultery, birth control, communication, counseling, dating, fantasy, fornication, free love, homosexuality, masturbation, menopause, oral sex, petting, privacy, "September sex", etc.

The Art of Marriage

The Art of Marriage 

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. 

A good marriage must be created.

 In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things:

 It is never being too old to hold hands. 

It is remembering to say “I Love You” at least once every day. 

It is never going to sleep angry.

 It is at no time taking the other for granted; 

         the courtship should not end with this day,

 it should continue through all the years. 

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. 

It is standing together facing the world.

 It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. 

It is doing things for each other, 

   not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, 

   but in the spirit of joy. 

It is speaking words of appreciation, 

   and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. 

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humour. 

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. 

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. 

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. 

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependance is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.

 It is not only marrying the right partner, 

it is being the right partner

Sex-NATURAL WARMTH

NATURAL WARMTH

It is Authentic

Natural sweet soothing warmth

That makes me experience passion

Feeling Cherished, valued and favoured of the Lord

It is automatic

Natural sparks of love

That once tasted leads to

Warm body, warm heart and glittering eyes

It is romantic

Natural protection and penetration

That makes me climax

With a burst of happiness

It is artistic

Natural contact

That heals and washes away the pains

With waters of fulfilment

Its classic

Natural sharing and giving of self

That makes two one in everything

Filled with hot curves, craves and drives

It is drastic

Natural response and solution

That changes every part of me

With my king’s satisfaction

It is energetic

Natural for tasting

That is full of deep kisses and caress

Darling am all yours

It is electric

Natural conviction and connection

That leaves my nights unforgettable

An important, primary and vital need

It is exotic

Natural fun and pleasure

That will make me admire and adore you

The man who triumphed and won my heart

It is drastic

Natural interaction

With a big you and a tight me

That makes my whole body shake

It is fantastic

Natural touch and operations

That amazes my whole being

Leaving me fantasizing of my hero

It is elastic

Natural care and attention

That goes inside and comes out full of charm

Tuning us in desire, sweetness and relaxation

It’s a clinic

Natural treatment

That turns around disasters into success

Please do not stop

Compiled by Jacqueline Njambi

Jacqueline.kamau@gmail.com

BEWK-Lord Enlarge me, bless me, be with me, keep me

Lord Enlarge me, bless me, be with me, keep me -BEWK
"And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that Thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that Thine hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested." 1 Chro. 4:10

From an absolute disadvantaged condition, Jabez became most honourable in his family, when the God of Israel answered his prayers!

Let's pray:
The God of Israel will change whatever situation you're in now; the way He changed that of Jabez (born in sorrow)! He will keep all forms of evils far from you; and increase your tentacles greatly! He will make you a blessing to the envy of your enemies!You'll be counted among the great people of this generation In Jesus Precious Name!!!Amen.
Beloved, have a blessed week.

Further reading:
"He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the LORD'S, and he hath set the world upon them." 1 Sam. 2:8

Life's Manual

My Bible Life's Manual

We have all been there, bought a gadget like a phone and because we know the basic tasks it can do, we think we know better and we toss away the owner’s manual. Rarely do we buy a gadget, read the whole manual and understand it before we touch and try to operate the gadget. We think we know better, especially the men. Because of this you will find people with gadgets that can do so much but because they did not take the time to read and understand what the manufacture of the gadget designed it to do, they underutilize the great instrument they hold in their hands.

2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete equipped for every good work

Jesus is the author of life and He has given us a manual called the Bible, basic instructions before leaving earth.
The sad reality is that many of us think we know better. We assume we have this thing called life figured out and we can navigate through it without instructions from the manufacturer. We toss out all the instructions that God has given us and we think we know better and we assume Gods laws are old fashioned and they no longer apply to us then when we fail we blame God and declare He is not good.

Some of us wait for others to read the word then they tell us what they think the word is saying. Because of this many have been led astray. Sometimes we run to all sorts of people to get advice on how to run our lives but we never refer to the manual to discover what it says about our situation. It’s like taking your car to a rogue mechanic and expecting him to do a good job.
The bible is no ordinary book, it is inspired by God himself and unless you read it for yourself consistently, you will never experience that. The bible is useful to teach you what is wrong and right, to rebuke and train us in all righteousness so that we may be complete and equipped for every good work.