Powerful Fruit

 FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT
The flesh and the spirit are at war against each other such that at times you find yourself doing the things you know you should not be doing. When you yield to the flesh then you will manifest the fruits of the flesh. In the same way if you yield to the Holy Spirit then you will manifest the fruit of the Spirit in your life. But what is the fruit of the Spirit?

Galatians 5:22 (AMP)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Compare that to the works of the flesh

Galatians 5:19-21 (AMP)
19 Now the practices of the [a]sinful nature are clearly evident: they are sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality (total irresponsibility, lack of self-control), 20 [b]idolatry, [c]sorcery, hostility, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions [that promote heresies], 21 envy, drunkenness, riotous behavior, and other things like these. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

When the fruit of the Spirit manifests in your life, then you begin to display Gods nature.
Your love for people and the things of God begins to grow; you begin appreciating each individual as a son or daughter of God and not because of what they have.
We see joy in your life and even as the bible says that joy of the Lord is your strength, your joy is not determined by outside forces but by the Spirit on the inside.
The peace of God that surpasses all understanding envelopes you and regardless of the situation you are going through, you are enveloped in His peace.
With longsuffering you are able to endure like Job when you go through trials without complaining.
You become gentle in the way you handle people and situations around you, you display the same gentleness Jesus showed when He dealt with the woman caught in adultery. You do not condone the sin but you handle people with gentleness.
Humility becomes a reality in your life as you understand that it is not about you but about Christ who lives in you.
Faith arises in you as the Holy Spirit bears witness to the words that you read from the pages of the bible.
I don’t know about you, but I think that is a very powerful fruit that will draw others to Christ as they see it in you.

You may be looking at your life and you can only see small traces of this fruit in your life. Let me encourage you by telling you that fruit does not grow in one day. It takes time from when the fruit buds on the tree to the time when I it edible. For you right now the fruit may just be budding. Take heart and allow the Holy Spirit to continue working in you because the fruit will continue to grow and develop.

Declaration
I will not yield to the promptings of the flesh, I will allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me, I will follow His lead so that the fruit of the Spirit is evident in my everyday life

Take Courage

 Be Bold and Courageous
Back in the day growing up in Buru Buru estate, we would have kids from the neighboring Jericho estate come over to harass us and steal our footballs and even bikes. Sometimes you would have this tiny kid walk up to a group of older kids and this tiny fellow would harass them and take off with their ball. At times he would be so bold as to insult and push them around. Looking at the situation you would wonder where this tiny kid is getting the boldness and courage to push around other kids twice his size. Little did you know that the tinny fellow was not alone, right around the corner he had a whole crowd of older boys on his side waiting to pounce on you if you messed up with the little fellow.
Thinking of that situation reminded me of what God told Joshua.

Joshua 1:9 (AMP)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

The Lord your God is with you wherever you go! Wow, knowing this should make us bold whatever the situation. Looking at some of the stories in the Old Testament we find people who knew that God was with them and they faced their situations with courage and boldness. Moses, David, Daniel, Esther Shadrach and his friends, all these were people who knew God was with them.

Looking at what we have been learning this week, first that God loves you unconditionally, then that He predestined your existence and that you are not a mistake but part of his grand plan that should give you such confidence and courage. We came to the understanding that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose and yesterday we came to the understanding that the Holy Spirit our helper is always with us, forever. This ought to make us bold and courageous, knowing that we have a backup that can never fail and that we are not alone. Being on Gods side means that any time the enemy tries to mess up with us then God himself will deal with him.

Though the journey may be rough at times and we will face challenges and discouragements, always remember that you are not alone so be bold and courageous and like Joshua go on to conquer.

Declaration
I will be bold and courageous no matter what situations come my way because the Lord my God is always with me. He makes a table for me in the presence of my enemies. I will not be dismayed or terrified. I have the victory
[6:22 AM, 1/29/2018] Family Media 316: #MorningDevotion   Bearing Much Fruit
John: 15:8
 8 My Father is glorified and honored by this, when you bear much fruit, and prove yourselves to be My [true] disciples.

Have you ever been at a place in your life where you looked up to the heavens and asked God to just tell you what he wants you to do? “God, just tell me in simple plain language what you want me to do and I will do it!” Jesus makes it clear for us what God is looking for in each and every one of us, He is looking for fruit, much fruit.
Many times, we are so engrossed by what people see on the outside. We go to great lengths to look the part so that we can fit in forgetting that what God is looking for from each and every one of us who believe, is fruit, much fruit.

Matthew 21:18
18 Now early in the morning, as Jesus was coming back to the city, He was hungry. 19 Seeing a lone fig tree at the roadside, He went to it and found nothing but leaves on it; and He said to it, “Never again will fruit come from you.” And at once the fig tree withered.

One of the things I leant is that the fig tree actually produces fruit before the leaves and thus to see leaves on a fig tree means that there is fruit. Jesus saw the leaves on the fig tree and naturally because He was hungry he went on expecting he would find fruit but he found none. The tree was advertising what it did not have, the tree was a hypocrite just like the Pharisees. Jesus says that bearing much fruit is proof that you are a true disciple and that is what God is looking out for. Fruits are generated from what is on the inside and that is why Jesus says in;

Matthew 7:18 (AMP)
18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.

God is looking for fruit because when we connect to the vine and stay connected then fruit is the inevitable result. Jesus says that fruit is so important to God that those who do not produce fruit will be cut off from the vine while at the same time those who are bearing fruit He will prune so they can bear much fruit.
I look at it this way, one way or the other you will be cut, I would rather be pruned so as to bear much fruit that to be cut off.

Declaration
I am good soil, I will embrace the word and go through the process. I will allow the word to take root in my life, I will stay connected to the vine because I know what God requires of me. I will bear much fruit!

wise women

Wise Women

It’s not that there is a group of wise women and another group of dumb women. Every woman, and every human being really, holds within her the seed of wisdom. What happens is that some people listen to the noise of those lessons, while others prefer to turn a deaf ear to that noise.

Let’s place the adjective of “wise” to those women who have managed to overcome the prejudice and false beliefs that revolve around feminism. Keep in mind that many societies brag about having given women a greater role. However, we all know that it’s a process that still isn’t complete. One which still has a long way to go. Unfortunately, the truth is that women all over the world keep confronting realities of indolence and discrimination.

“At all times in my life, there has been a woman that took me by the hand in the shadows of a reality that women know better than men, shadows through which they are better oriented.”
-Gabriel García Márquez-

There are many virtues that define wise women. However, here we give due relevance to 5 of them. It’s all about complex traits, that are solely achieved when the mind and heart have undergone a process of healthy evolution. They are as follows.

Gender solidarity, a virtue of women that value themselves

Envy is a malignant flower that blooms easily in female terrain. Wise women are aware of this, because they have invested part of their lives to reflecting upon this reality. They also know that these disqualifications and the scathing criticism between women are solely a lag of a sense of inferiority.

Wise women understand that questioning other women doesn’t make them better. The complete opposite actually. That’s why they rejoice in the triumphs of their friends and avoid at all costs those insensitive conversations plagued with criticism.

Affectionate independence: acting out of conviction

Independence doesn’t consist of having money to spend. Nor is it about living self-sufficiently, as if you didn’t need anyone. It also doesn’t have anything to do with living by yourself or with doing away with relationships just because none seem important enough.

Independence is reflected above all in your ability to maintain your own convictions and be consistent with them. Above all, not caring about what others say or think about your actions. Wise women can connect with themselves and follow their desires. They understand that they’re different than the rest, but just as legitimate.

A sense of humor, a sign of well-being

A distinctive trait of wisdom is a good sense of humor. Anyone who has lived enough knows that laughter is an excellent response to the vicissitudes and ironies of existence.Finally, most of the situations we experience simply have no remedy. That’s when laughter helps you accept the inevitable.

A sense of humor brings color to any particular moment. Women with wisdom understand that laughing is an act of freedom. That’s why they know how to do it. They aren’t seeking someone to entertain them. Instead, they have learned to find for themselves that playful state in any situation.

Realism, when you say goodbye to fairy tales

Almost all women have been educated to turn into eternal romantics. Oftentimes, even the most witty and educated ladies still hold within that sort of nostalgia for the existence of perfect loves and happy endings. Some renounce these romantic dreams with a certain type of bitterness.

But the women who have managed to become wise think and feel in a different way. Surely there was a moment in which they learned to say goodbye to these fantasies that only bring about frustrations. They understood that the dimension of being someone’s partner is simply another one life has to offer. It is not a magical revelation that changes everything forever. These women love their partners, just as they are. Wise women don’t make their significant others responsible for their own happiness. Paradoxically, they are happier like this.

Self-care, winning yourself over

There is a big difference between self-care and vanity. Self-care has to do with the protection of one’s own integrity. Of one’s personal well-being, of your health. Also, of course, it involves your appearance. It has to do with feeling good in your own way. That is to say, other people aren’t the ones that say how you should look, you’re the one who decides that.

Vanity, instead, seeks to please the eyes of everyone else. It is a trait of women that want to be judged with approving gestures by others. They need others to see them as beautiful. In order to achieve this, they are capable of anything, even going through great difficulties or putting their own lives at risk. Their concept of beauty is dictated by magazines, ads, stores, etc.

The traits that define wise women all have one element in common: self-love. It’s easy to say, but in order to build authentic self-esteem one must overcome many fantasies and prejudice. The effort is worth your while though, because the final prize is a much more free and fulfilled life.

Believe in yourself.

Believe in yourself. I am a firm believer that self-belief takes you places and makes you seek opportunities you never thought you would. You must have a ‘you can do it’ mentality because no one will ever do it for you. Remember as you work, you are either working towards achieving your dream or helping someone achieve their dream. Create a balance and let your efforts earn you success. #AskKirubi

It Hurts but get over it

Dear friends...
No matter how bad it hurts or how
bad you feel, it’s time to stop
thinking about that person who
played with your feelings, who
took your love for granted, who
never appreciated your care, who
wasn’t contented with what you
could give him or her. You can’t
stay at that hurtful place anymore.
You can’t keep shedding tears
over someone who doesn’t
deserve the love you gave. You
can’t keep feeling sorry for
yourself and thinking if only you
did more. You can’t make them
want the relationship because if
they wanted they wouldn’t have
let go of you.
You deserve better now. You
deserve someone who appreciates
you and who won’t play with your
delicate heart.. Just like a cut on
your hand will take time to heal,
your broken heart needs time to
heal as well. That’s not the end of
your life. You will get over that
pain you’re having right now and
one day you’ll be happy again

Rain will Not Kill Me

If you're going through a difficult storm allow me to encourage you that this too shall pass and the remnants from the rain will be used in your favor in order to grow you to greater heights. Realize that every drop has a purpose and that you thought would drown you is only watering a greater reward in you. Only God can take tragedy and turn it to triumph so get ready for God to take your flood and shift it into rivers of living waters so that everything it touches will prosper. Don't get tricked by the enemy into believing that you're being punished, sometimes God needs to flood your now in order to flourish your next. Embrace your storm and know that God is working everything out for your good. Your storm is about to change directions, so get ready for exponential GROWTH.

find

“Either we shall find what it is we are seeking or at least we shall free ourselves from the persuasion that we know what we do not know” ― Plato, The Republic.

take a break and see the rest of the world

The Rest of the world.

You don't have to go far or spend a lot of money to experience fun. Here are some simple ways to create your own little retreat and get your groove back.

1. Read something for fun

You must escape your world and enter another one to really get outside yourself. I am mainly a fan of business books and biographies, so this time of year I need to read fiction. Reading just for fun is, well, fun, but it also gives your brain power a boost. Researchers at Stanford examined people's brain activity while reading Jane Austen and found increased blood flow to the regions of the subjects' brains associated with focusing on tasks. We can all use a little workout to strengthen our ability to pay attention to details and get things done, right?

2. Walk it out

Vigorous work outs will strengthen your body, and leisurely strolls will strengthen your ability to chill. It is hard to be distracted by problems plaguing you back in the office when you're distracted by natural beauty right in front of you. Walks force you to clear your thoughts, and I've often found that I come out the other side feeling a little more fit and a lot more calm.

3. Cook a meal

Sure, we eat out a bunch when I’m on these weekends away, but some of the best meals my friend and I have had involved chopping simple ingredients and pouring wine right there in our kitchen. I am no chef, so I'm talking about spaghetti, jarred sauce and pre-made garlic bread. But still, there is a nice simplicity to making something myself with no rush and good music playing in the back ground. And bonus, cooking and eating meals at home can improve your health overall, according to the CDC.

4. Go offline

This will be a new one this year. No email or social media for three days. I will have my phone so people can text in an emergency, but that's it. Instead of trying to capture memories on Instagram, I want to be present to take some pictures in my head. The National Health Service in the UK found that people who take a week off of Facebook showed more overall satisfaction with their lives. And who couldn't use a little more of that? 

5. Don't do anything

I would tell you to try meditation like me, but I can’t calm down enough to do it myself. This is a helpful guide -- maybe you'll have better luck. (I'm trying, really!) And trying really is the point. Taking a quiet moment or two to just breathe forces you to stop thinking about the bills or all the work coming in the months ahead. It's brief, but those two minutes of mental vacation can make all the difference for me. 

So as the summer winds down, you don’t have to head off to the South of France, but you do need to get out of your own head. I'm going away with one of my best friends in the world -- what will you do? Make sure you take some time to reset and refresh, and when Monday comes, you'll be ready to restart.

Fresh Woman

I am 28 years old,a mother and a communications consultant. I write to impact lives publish in Kenya and online. I had stopped writing for a while but the words in me wont stop coming.
my blog is a fresh now jacquelinewords.blogspot.com

Become a better woman

9 Ways Women Can Become Better Women

1. Stop the shit-talking.

Is it really necessary to bash other women? Don’t we have it hard enough as females on this earth? It is so easy to say mean, spiteful things about other women who have done us wrong, who have hurt us, or are even just walking down the street. Why do we do this? I know you have done it. I have done it too. We see a woman running down the street and we find something terrible to say about her form, her body, her anything. In reality, we should be saying, “Damn girl. Keep running.” As women, we must begin to empower the other women around us. We really are in this together and we have fought long and hard for our place in this world. Let’s make our foremothers proud. We don’t need to be holding picket signs protesting for our rights to be a woman who is fighting for the strength of the next generation. So from now on, when you see a woman off her ass and running, don’t be jealous because you didn’t make it to the gym that day, send her good energy and be proud of her.

2. Be a woman young girls can look up to.

Ever since my two little (not so little any more) cousins were born, I always think about what they would think or feel about whatever action I take. How I would feel if they did the very same. I am lucky to have quite a few younger women in my life that I value and respect and I want them to know I have my shit together and I am proud of the choices I have made. I want the young girls who take the train with me in the morning to see me and know that I am respectable and dress appropriately for a 27-year-old. I want them to see that I talk to the people I am riding with and those around me with respect using language that is suitable for being in a public place. I want young women to see me and know that I am proud of myself, proud of being a woman and that they can come talk to me about the crap we go through in life as women. I want to radiate the powerful knowledge that integrity and authenticity always win. I want to help younger women remember that we have to earn the respect we get from others. We can start earning that any time now.

3. Respect where other women are on their own journey.

I recently found myself comparing my path to the path of a woman with whom I went to undergrad six years ago. We have the same undergraduate degree and I even went to grad school. Yet, she is working in a corporate office logging 60+ hours a week and making more money than I have seen in my life. Is she happy? Maybe. I hope so. But I wouldn’t be happy there. I know where I am right now is where I am supposed to be. I know that I am developing and growing in ways at 27 that I have never even believed could happen before. I know I am happy each day and ready for any challenges that come my way. This goes tenfold for comparing your relationships to those of other women. Relationships are a significant part of our journey. By this time in my life, I have recognized and realized that no relationship will be the same as the last and I am in no place to judge someone else’s relationship either. Your relationship with your partner is yours and yours alone. Where you are is right where you need to be with the one you love. And where that woman over there is in her relationship, even if you think it’s wrong, is perfectly right for her. Let’s be clear here however, when you see something actually not okay, something that hurts your gut or you know is dangerous or unhealthy, speak up. That, my friends, is a whole different ball game.

4. Understand what it means to be a feminist.

Part of my undergraduate education was focused on women’s studies. This was one of the best choices I ever made. I learned a lot about myself in these classes. Thanks to a lot of stellar female colleagues and incredible professors, I also learned a lot about feminism, where it came from and where feminist theory is headed. Feminists don’t hate men. In fact, it is just the opposite. Feminism defined is the belief that women and men should have equal rights. Powerful women like Mary Wollstonecraft, Audre Lorde (not the singer, damn it), Gloria Steinem and on and on were crusaders in the fight for equal rights for women. Yet women and men alike have challenged this and made feminism a negative word that puts feminists in this group of women who are anti-men, anti-shaving, pants-wearing, unattractive humans that no one can connect to on a neutral plane. This is full of inaccuracies. I am a self declared feminist. I want equal rights for women on all kinds of levels, but I also love my boyfriend, enjoy the results of regular waxing, rock dresses whenever I can and surely appreciate both inner and outer beauty. Feminists want more. They don’t want gender roles to define what we can and cannot do as women. We want more for everyone, not just women.

5. Really love your body.

I remember so many mean things that were said to me about my body when I was younger. They stick with you and torment you. Girls are so vulnerable for so many of their formative years. At 27, I am in the best shape of my life. I practice yoga more days than not, I eat healthy (I definitely cheat, no one is perfect and no one can take away my cravings for fries and sweets) and I love my body. Yet I still struggle. I still find myself comparing my curves to the curves of other women, the size on my dress to the size on hers. I still find myself talking poorly about my body. You get the point. However, I also know the importance of taking care of myself and I know this outweighs the aforementioned negative crap talk. I know that when I am practicing yoga multiple days a weekI need to eat more. I know that when I don’t make it to a practice, I am still okay. It is time for us, as women, to take control of our bodies. Be proud of what you have. Take care of it. Feed it when it is hungry and work it hard when you can. Most of all, love it wholly, every part of it.

6. Learn how to be alone.

This is a tough one. We all struggle with this. But we hear about it all the time. This does not mean constantly keeping people on the back burner, holding old flames around for the hell of it, or sort-of-dating people. It means being alone, really unattached. We all need to do this. We need to freshly go into any new relationship. Not go from one relationship to the next. There is not a set time on how long this has to last. Once you are there, you will know how much time you need. But give yourself time. I know lots of women who have never had this. Women who have never genuinely been alone. Women who when asked if they were single nodded their heads sharing a timid yes, but knew they could contact any number of men to keep them company later that night. I valued this time as a woman deeply. I went into my current, strongest relationship with a clean slate. One that had just been whitewashed with new hobbies, old friends, new friends, travel, and a lot of books. One that did not involve men, especially did not involve boys and absolutely did not involve wasted time on people who did not deserve me. It was during this time that I found out what I was actually waiting for, what was going to be worthwhile, and what I deeply desired. It was here that I learned how to dive into a new space and person will a full heart ready to love and be loved. It was here I truly found me.

7. Be direct and clear.

We typically know what we want. So say it. You are asked what is wrong. You respond with, “Nothing.” You are asked again. Again, you say, “Nothing.” Then you are an outright asshole because your significant other or anyone else in your life for that matter can’t read your mind. How is this fair to that other person? If you want something to be different, say what you want. This has to be, by far, the most frustrating thing to watch in my own life and in the lives of my other female friends. At some point in our lives we were shut down by someone or something and stopped being honest about what we wanted. There is, however, a disclaimer here. If you aren’t ready to say what you need to say, take a breather. Walk away for a minute until you are ready. Don’t put people through hell being in your presence because you aren’t ready to share what is on your mind. I promise the person you choose to be honest with will get it and will respect that honesty, no matter how long it takes to get out. Occasionally, it takes me quite some time to really figure out what is messing with my head. That’s okay. If honesty pisses someone off, tell them to take a hike.

8. Know how to take a compliment.

When someone says you are beautiful, believe it. When someone tells you that you succeeded at work or in some other endeavor, believe it. None of this bullshit, “No, no, it wasn’t that good” or any of the other crap I hear women say. I am sure you kicked ass and don’t feel comfortable saying how great you were. Get comfortable. Somewhere in the past whatever number of years, women lost some of their confidence. Who knows what happened? I have some ideas, for sure. That’s beside the point. The real point to take away with this one is that we, as women, need to learn to believe kind people when they hand us a compliment, really and truly believe it and thank that person for reminding us how awesome we are.

9. Be proud of yourself.

Understand that it is really cool to be an intellectual. It is pretty fabulous to be really great at something that you do. It is wonderful to succeed in something new you have attempted. You got a new job? Go celebrate. You got into a crazy, bendy new yoga pose? Own it and share it with those you care about. And when someone praises you for that very thing you did great, thank them and keep kicking ass. It is okay to be excited for ourselves. In fact, it is necessary for us to celebrate our own accomplishments. At the end of the day we have to go to bed with ourselves and in the morning it is only us. Be good to yourself and happy for yourself. That is what it’s all about. 

How to make yourself Better

"Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

We've all made mistakes throughout our lives that haven't exactly put us in the best light--like bullying someone in school or telling what seemed like a little white lie. Chances are, however, you probably felt a little guilt and grew because of the situation.

I'm an average guy trying to become better in both my work and home life. I'll never be perfect, but it doesn't mean I won't try.

If you want to continue to grow as a person, here are 15 ways to make the most of yourself.

1. Compliment Yourself
Every morning before you go on with your daily routine, take a couple of minutes to give yourself a compliment. Whether you compliment your outfit, haircut, or how you recently completed a task using your unique skill sets, giving yourself a little emotional boost will make you happy. And, when you're happy with yourself, that emotion can be contagious to those around you. Inspirational speaker Tony Robbins has a mantra he says aloud to himself most days to put him in a peak performance state.

2. Don't Make Excuses
Blaming your spouse, boss, or clients is fruitless and won't get you very far. Instead of pointing fingers and making excuses about why you aren't happy or successful in your personal or professional life, own your mistakes and learn from them. When you do this, you will become a better person. When I personally started living up to my mistakes and downfalls, my life turned itself around. I became happier and healthier, and my relationship with my wife improved. We are happier than ever.

3. Let Go of Anger
Letting go of anger is easier said than done. While anger is a perfectly normal emotion, you can't let it fester. When this happens, you may make unwise decisions, and more important, it may affect your health. Research suggests pent up anger can cause digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, and even heart disease.

To help you let go of anger, Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD, suggests you write your feelings down, pray or meditate, or begin to manage your thoughts.

4. Practice Forgiveness
Joyce Marter, LCPC, suggests you forgive and let go of resentment. She notes, "If for no other reason than for yourself, forgive to untether yourself from the negative experiences of the past. Take time to meditate, and give thanks for the wisdom and knowledge gained from your suffering. Practice the mantra, 'I forgive you and I release you.'"

5. Be Honest and Direct
How would you feel if a loved one or business partner lied to you? Chances are you would see that as a violation of your trust. If you want to be a better person in either your personal or professional life, you should always tell the truth and state as clearly as possible what you are trying to convey. Learn to articulate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas in an open and honest manner.

6. Be Helpful
Whether giving up your seat to an elderly person on the subway, assisting a co-worker on a project, or carrying in the groceries when your spouse comes back from the store, being helpful is one of the easiest and most effective ways to practice becoming a better person. I find that the more I help others, the better I feel about myself and everyone around me.

7. Listen to Others
As Jeet Banerjee notes on Lifehack, "listening to people and giving everyone a voice is one of the greatest things you can do." He adds that he "got to meet some of the most amazing people, close some of the biggest deals, and develop connections that will last me a lifetime all because I took time to listen to people. Being a good listener can change your life in a positive manner."

8. Act Locally
It may not seem like a big deal, but supporting a local cause, donating clothes, or buying from local farmers' markets or businesses are simple ways you can help your specific region. You may not be able to save the world, but you very well could make a difference in your neck of the woods. Get to know and care about your community.

9. Always Be Polite
How much effort does it take to say, "Thank you," or to hold the elevator door open for someone? Not much at all. However, these acts of kindness can make someone's day. I decided a few years ago that it doesn't matter if someone is ultra rude, condescending, or worse. The way someone else behaves is not going to determine my behavior.

10. Be Yourself
Tiffany Mason has five excellent reasons on Lifehack why you should be yourself. These include being able to align yourself with your values and beliefs, establish your identity, build courage, create boundaries, and find focus and direction.

11. Be Open to Change
Whether trying a new restaurant, traveling to an unknown part of the world, or doing something that has always scared you, you should always be open to change. This allows you to grow because you experience something new. It helps you be high functioning and self-confident if you are not wary of change.

12. Be Respectful
How would you feel if you had just cleaned your home and someone came in and tracked mud everywhere? You'd probably be a little ticked that they hadn't taken off their shoes. Take this mentality and apply it to everyday life. For example, don't toss your trash or cigarette butts on the floor of public restrooms or sidewalks just because someone else will clean it up. Be respectful of others' time, thoughts, ideas, lifestyles, feelings, work, and everything else. You don't have to agree with any of it, but people have a right to their opinions and yours is not necessarily correct.

13. Don't Show Up Empty-handed
Going to a party this weekend at your friend's apartment? Make sure you don't arrive empty-handed. Even if you've been assured that there will be plenty of food and drink, bring along a little something to show you appreciate being invited.

14. Educate Yourself
If you don't understand why one country is invading another, take the time to educate yourself on the current event. Ask a person intimately connected with the event for his or her thoughts. Remember, we're all interconnected, and being aware of different cultures, different people, and what their lives are like can make you a more well-rounded individual. This will also help you understand points of view different from your own.

15. Surprise People
How good does it feel to make someone smile? It feels pretty good, right? Surprise your loved ones or co-workers now and then, with a gift, a night out on the town, or by offering help when you know they could use it.

Becoming a better person doesn't happen overnight, but it is possible. Believe in yourself and know that it is possible!

What other tips have you found useful for becoming a better person?

WIT

Increasing diverse participation and inclusion in technology workplaces is not a women’s issue. It is a business issue and a human issue

joke about shaving

Joe always went to his local barber for a monthly shave and haircut. But one day the barber was ill. So the barber’s wife, Grace, took over. Joe noticed over subsequent weeks that his hair was not growing.

The barber, an evangelical Christian, explained the mystery. “When you’re shaved by Grace,” he said, “you’re once shaved, always shaved.”

2018 CLEANSING, CHECK IF YOU ARE DONE

2018 CLEANSING, CHECK IF YOU ARE DONE

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.

Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes.

There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are some ways to get started:

Let Go Of Frustration with Yourself/Your Life

1. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.

2. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.

3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.

5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future).

6. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self-satisfaction.

7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.

8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.

9. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control instead of dwelling on things you can’t.

10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.

Let go of Anger and Bitterness

11. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion, you have to feel it fully.

12. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.

13. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.

14. If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel may help you move on. Keep in mind that you can’t control how the offender responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.

15. Take responsibility. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.

16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.

17. Metaphorically throw it away. For example, jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)

18. Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside.

19. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.

20. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

21. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.

22. Write everything you want to express in a letter. Even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings will help you come to terms with reality as it is now.

23. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”

24. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again, it will be easier to move on.

25. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.

26. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.

27. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.

28. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”

29. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”

30. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought.

Let Go Of Stress

31. Use a deep breathing technique, like ujayii, to soothe yourself and seep into the present moment.

32. Immerse yourself in a group activity. Enjoying the people in your life may help put your problems in perspective.

33. Consider this quotation by Eckhart Tolle: “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” Questioning how your stress serves you may help you let it go.

34. Metaphorically release it. Write down all your stresses and toss the paper into your fireplace.

35. Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin thinking about something that stresses you so you can shift your thought process to something more pleasant, like your passion for your hobby.

36. Take a sauna break. Studies reveal that people who go to sauna at least twice a week for ten to thirty minutes are less stressed after work than others with similar jobs who don’t.

37. Imagine your life ten years from now. Then look twenty years into the future, and then thirty. Realize that many of the things you’re worrying about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

38. Organize your desk. According to Georgia Witkin, assistant director of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, completing a small task increases your sense of control and decreases your stress level.

39. Use it up. Make two lists: one with the root causes of your stress and one with actions to address them. As you complete these tasks, visualize yourself utilizing and depleting your “stress supply.”

40. Laugh it out. Research shows that laughter soothes tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. If you can’t relax for long, start with just ten minutes watching a funny video on YouTube.

It’s a long list, but there’s much left to be said! Can you think of anything to add to this list—other areas of life where we need to practice letting go, and other techniques to start doing it right now?